Stressed Out

Wanna know what?

I'm tired.

And I'm stressed.

And I could really use a day off to just...sort my head out.

I know I'm going through a phase.  I'm disappointed in my progress.  I'm tired. I feel like a failure but then I am proud at how far I've come and then I over-analyze why I'm not where I want to be by now and maybe there is something wrong with me and I should get it checked out. And I think about how I don't have time to do that-- another doctor, another appointment.  More time away from what I should be doing. And what is that, anyway? Cooking? Cleaning? Meal prepping? Taking my kids to the park? Working out? Taking care of me? Yes. All of that.  And when? How?

This is constantly running through my mind.  Everything I'm failing at doing/not doing.

Today, I lost it. I had ice cream. And now I feel so guilty and sick from it. Tomorrow when I wake up, my loss will be smaller and less victorious because I ate ice cream.

Last week, I confessed to some of my trainong team mates "oh I need to be good today, I splurged on some girl scout cookies!  I had 3!". They looked at me like I was nuts and said "um splurging is like a whole sleeve of cookies!".

Sigh.

It's all on my head though, right?  This is what happens when I'm stressed about everything.  Nothing makes sensem Can you tell I haven't exercised since Saturday?  If it wasn't 11pm, I'd go for a run!  that usually resets my common sense. LOL

Anyway, just felt like sharing what a bad day looks like in my head.  It's not always empowerment and "look at me over coming the world of healthy and fitness and #momlife!"  Nah, screw that noise today.  Save it for tomorrow.  LOL

(I really hope I snap out of this tomorrow!)