8 Week Challenge

 I'm doing an 8 week challenge.  Actually it's more like a 7 weeks and 4 days challenge because I didn't start on the 11th when I was supposed to because I didn't have time, I didn't sleep well the night before, I felt really gross and didn't want to take the required "Day 1" photos.

I knew this was coming.  I signed up for it like...a week before the challenge started.  But over the weekend I managed to find 5lbs and hold on to them until Monday morning and after the worst night of sleep ever, 2 kids who didn't want to go to school and a very busy work and personal day, I couldn't find it in myself to care about it.  I wanted to quit before I started.  Catch ya next time, 8 week challenge!

But I had a meeting scheduled for the 14th with my Advisor so I'd just let her know that this was NOT going to work for me right now and I'd just move on...use one of the 9 different apps I downloaded and signed up for...I'm sure I have recipes and workouts in there and I could just coach myself through it.

The 5lbs were really cramping my style.  It brought my total to 7lbs since October  and 9lbs since this one day in September when I had been drinking lemon water and eating salads everyday...It was a great week.  The kids weren't home, it was my last week of work in my previous job so I spent most of my day doing turnover, the weather was great so I walked a lot and drank my lemon water and did healthy things.  And something happened.  My kids came back, the stress came back, my parents came back and the food choices changed.  I thought I'd just gain back the 3lbs I had lost but those 3 turned into 8.  I battled from October to December to get rid of them and thought they were finally gone until this weekend...

I was seriously depressed to the point that I dropped my youngest off at school, got home and literally could not hold back the tears.  Everything was wrong.  My weight, my lack of sleep, my inability to find a house, mom guilt because I feel like I totally suck at being a mom, my job is super stressful right now...and I was cooking a dinner for my parents as a Christmas gift that night. I was overwhelmed and all I wanted to do was cry. Oh, I was supposed to get bloodwork done that morning and had forgotten the slip.  It was the end of my world.

It is sometimes in those moments when we have to dig down deep to find the strength to pull through.  A house came on the market.  I was distracted.  I made a smart choice for breakfast.  I made a list of everything I had to do for the day and made a note on my list and made a box around it.  It said "just do your best". I laughed at myself.

I finished what I could for work, prepped the side dishes, took my daughter to the dentist, made it to the chiropractor, got an email from my realtor that we had an appointment to see the house and served an awesome dinner.  I did my best.

Tuesday morning, I was down a pound.

I pushed through Tuesday...crushed a meeting I had been really nervous about and made smart choices. Did my best. I slept great.

Wednesday morning, down another pound. 

And by today I was down 5lbs with 2 more to go to get back to my normal overweight weight. (Small victories here, people!)

And I had my meeting with my Advisor...

"I don't want to waste your time", I said. "I see the people in our Facebook group and they're already doing so much and I feel behind.  I think I should just wait until the next 8 week challenge."

And she told me I don't have to do the challenge that enters me into the prize winning contest.  And she told me I can still be a part of the challenge.  And she told me to start and take small steps...she pretty much told me to do my best.

So.  I finished signing up.  I took my dad on a 45 minutes power walk.  I ate bread at dinner and had a piece of carrot cake and ice cream because my 9 year old bought it for me with her money as a thank you for being such a great mom.  I'm doing my best.

I think I forgot what I am capable of...This 8 week challenge might not just be about weight loss...