Before/During...
I was reading through my blog the other day...I do that sometimes...'cause...uh that's why I wrote it? (wink)
I find it helpful to go back and read about my struggles and what I did to move passed those things. I also realized that over the last few years I seemed frantic and always searching for an answer and questioning why things aren't working and why is my body doing this or that? I was actually annoyed by myself while reading it. LOL. And I thought "why was I always struggling and bouncing back and forth in weight and never maintaining the standard I set for myself?
And I realized, "Wow, this really isn't just about weight loss for me. I have changed so much in the last 4 months--physically, mentally, emotionally. I feel more relaxed about the process; I'm happier and compared to how I know I felt writing some of those posts, I feel almost zen-like now. (Hahaha, Me? Calm? Miss "GO GO GO"? That's funny, I know but my mind has calmed down and my thoughts are more clear!)
Ok, yes, there are mornings when I'm squinting at the scale saying "WHAT? Liar! What did I do wrong? My life is over! I'll never lose weight! I'm starving myself today!!" but I move passed it and now I focus on making the right choices that day and I feel great.
And yes, the change/shift has changed more than just the scale, my clothes and confidence (as discussed in the previous post). I have made changes in relationships and I have seen changes at work--basically I'm putting myself out there more because I have more energy, I can think clearly, and I feel more confident in my abilities and I feel more like ME. But that's a different post for another day.
When you think about starting a weight loss program, like I did with Retrofit, you think about the goals you want to achieve. Naturally, you think "I want to lose X amount of weight in Y amount of time and I have a coach and classes and I'm going to log my food and when I'm finished I'm going to be skinny and awesome and....and...and....
But what I didn't realize was that I haven't even reached my goal and so much would already have changed. And I'm no longer looking at my goal as this place I want to get to and try to maintain. I see my goal as where I need to be and live and stay and grow and nurture. And I no longer see me having my goal and trying to live the same life I was living 6 months ago. I see my goal coming with different opportunities--life that revolves around physical activity of some sort and continuously challenging myself to be the best version of Annie that I can be. For who? Me. And the people I surround myself with...
We lose weight for health reasons, to feel better physically and mentally, to look "good" for ourselves or for attention from others (Don't deny it--we're human and on some level we all care about what people think and we want those things to be good things---some of us are more sensitive to it than others.), and we call it a diet and we do it for a while and we're on that weight loss high and we're buying new clothes, and people are noticing and then we reach goal and then what? If you haven't let go of who you were when you started the process, guess where you're headed?
Back to "Before"
And I don't want to go back. I've had my children, I've given myself up physically between growing two big babies in my short-waisted frame (and the only direction they had to go was out front), delivering them, nursing them, rocking them, carrying them (still carrying #2--come on! Walk already!!)...and I'm ready to put that phase of my life behind me and go back to where I was trying to head 10 years ago when I had moved out on my own, was going to Curves, was being "Annie" all the time. Now I have 2 kids, a house and a husband so some of that changes things but I can still be ME.
(Exhale).
Today I went into my closet and pulled out a pair of navy blue capris and a t-shirt. I wore it for a blog post back in June for my "Before I Start this Cleanse that is Going to Change My Life" picture.
I put on said outfit and I stood in front of the mirror and I thought "I've lost almost 23lbs since this picture was taken but I don't look any different"
I snapped a picture, turned, snapped another. I pulled up my photo app to import the pics from 7 months ago and stared. Right there in front of me was the old me and the new me.
Oh. I guess I have changed. And there's so much more going on than just inches and pounds.
And I'm not going back.
I can't wait til post Before/During/Goal!
I find it helpful to go back and read about my struggles and what I did to move passed those things. I also realized that over the last few years I seemed frantic and always searching for an answer and questioning why things aren't working and why is my body doing this or that? I was actually annoyed by myself while reading it. LOL. And I thought "why was I always struggling and bouncing back and forth in weight and never maintaining the standard I set for myself?
And I realized, "Wow, this really isn't just about weight loss for me. I have changed so much in the last 4 months--physically, mentally, emotionally. I feel more relaxed about the process; I'm happier and compared to how I know I felt writing some of those posts, I feel almost zen-like now. (Hahaha, Me? Calm? Miss "GO GO GO"? That's funny, I know but my mind has calmed down and my thoughts are more clear!)
Ok, yes, there are mornings when I'm squinting at the scale saying "WHAT? Liar! What did I do wrong? My life is over! I'll never lose weight! I'm starving myself today!!" but I move passed it and now I focus on making the right choices that day and I feel great.
And yes, the change/shift has changed more than just the scale, my clothes and confidence (as discussed in the previous post). I have made changes in relationships and I have seen changes at work--basically I'm putting myself out there more because I have more energy, I can think clearly, and I feel more confident in my abilities and I feel more like ME. But that's a different post for another day.
When you think about starting a weight loss program, like I did with Retrofit, you think about the goals you want to achieve. Naturally, you think "I want to lose X amount of weight in Y amount of time and I have a coach and classes and I'm going to log my food and when I'm finished I'm going to be skinny and awesome and....and...and....
But what I didn't realize was that I haven't even reached my goal and so much would already have changed. And I'm no longer looking at my goal as this place I want to get to and try to maintain. I see my goal as where I need to be and live and stay and grow and nurture. And I no longer see me having my goal and trying to live the same life I was living 6 months ago. I see my goal coming with different opportunities--life that revolves around physical activity of some sort and continuously challenging myself to be the best version of Annie that I can be. For who? Me. And the people I surround myself with...
 |
| This popped up on Forbes.com the other day as if the universe was reading my mind. |
We lose weight for health reasons, to feel better physically and mentally, to look "good" for ourselves or for attention from others (Don't deny it--we're human and on some level we all care about what people think and we want those things to be good things---some of us are more sensitive to it than others.), and we call it a diet and we do it for a while and we're on that weight loss high and we're buying new clothes, and people are noticing and then we reach goal and then what? If you haven't let go of who you were when you started the process, guess where you're headed?
Back to "Before"
And I don't want to go back. I've had my children, I've given myself up physically between growing two big babies in my short-waisted frame (and the only direction they had to go was out front), delivering them, nursing them, rocking them, carrying them (still carrying #2--come on! Walk already!!)...and I'm ready to put that phase of my life behind me and go back to where I was trying to head 10 years ago when I had moved out on my own, was going to Curves, was being "Annie" all the time. Now I have 2 kids, a house and a husband so some of that changes things but I can still be ME.
(Exhale).
Today I went into my closet and pulled out a pair of navy blue capris and a t-shirt. I wore it for a blog post back in June for my "Before I Start this Cleanse that is Going to Change My Life" picture.
I put on said outfit and I stood in front of the mirror and I thought "I've lost almost 23lbs since this picture was taken but I don't look any different"
I snapped a picture, turned, snapped another. I pulled up my photo app to import the pics from 7 months ago and stared. Right there in front of me was the old me and the new me.
Oh. I guess I have changed. And there's so much more going on than just inches and pounds.
And I'm not going back.
I can't wait til post Before/During/Goal!
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