Reflecting...6 months later...

So here I am, at the very beginning of 2017...I posted back in June about how I felt halfway through 2016.

A year ago I was home on maternity leave, caring for a baby who just started sleeping at night for more than 6 hours at a time. I was stressed, exhausted and had no clue what the year would bring. All I knew was that I was living one day at a time and hoping that by the end of the year I'd be on my way back to being me.  Whoever that was anymore.  

In August, I made a commitment to a program through work called Retrofit.  I was assigned a coach and given some requirements to post what I eat, step on the scale (that transmitted my weight and body fat percentage to my account, attend some webinars and meet with my coach via video conference.

I was all in. I was ready.  As long as we did it my way--low carb, high protein...And "please help me stop relying on these weird protein bars".

Skeptical? Maybe.  I had tried "regular" dieting before. You know the kind I'm talking about--the one where you change the way you eat and lose some weight, nothing drastic...Works for all the people in the magazine articles...Never worked for me.  "I'm unique.  I'm different. I have to do a special diet and not eat bread and pasta and carrots and corn..."

For a month or two this went on... Afraid of real food and insisting that these chemical filled protein bars were where the answer to my weight loss dreams...

I think yo-yo'd 4 lbs...

And then something clicked.

My coach and I talked and she sent me some practical snacks--real food, really simple.

And I tried it.

Meh.  I lost a pound. Luck.

Another...And then two...And I was feeling better and less stressed... And then something shifted.

Something clicked.

Something locked in.

Mindset.

I was no longer relying on chocolate protein bars, playing a game in my head with soy protein potato chip crisps, having dessert because well "it's healthy; it's a protein bar..."

It was like I woke up and realized where I was--the me from 2013 who was a runner, who ate healthy food, was confident and happy and "bebopped" everywhere, came out of hibernation.

And suddenly, I was making friends or spending more time with old friends...And talking about running again and skipping dessert and being OK with tasting things and just making smarter choices.  I was on my way to becoming one of those success stories in a fitness magazine. 

And you know what?  I really started to like me again!

And I was down 15lbs.

By Thanksgiving, I was ready to take on running.  But...my back?  Three years of physical therapy and I still couldn't sleep on my back.  Things were getting better but I was scared to run.  

And by some divine intervention, or maybe sheer determination, my back stopped hurting. And runs were getting easier and my whole mood shifted again!  

Over Christmas, I took a trip up to my closet (Our upstairs has been under renovation for 18 months) and grabbed a pile of dress pants that had been laying over the rack since August 2014.  I began trying them on.  Half of them fit perfectly.  Whaaat?

The maternity clothes were packed away as I approached the New Year.  I hadn't worn them in months. They were a crutch.  It is a huge relief to be finished with those. FOREVER. And I replaced them on the shelf with running pants, sports bras and socks.  

All for the new me.

So here I sit, 6 days into 2017.  I'm down 18lbs (per my scale).  I have energy, I have bounce in my step and I feel alive.  Anxiety is controlled, appetite is controlled, I ran 3 miles in 35:47...

Proof. LOL

Right now 2017 holds a growing list of 5k races I've agreed to run, a trip to visit my parents in Florida, a wedding to attend and hopefully some forward progress on some goals at work.

But most importantly, I'm going to be the best version of me; everything else is icing on the cake.  (mmm, cake)

Happy New Year!   Happy New You!!

My shirt says "be your own kind of amazing"