SSSTRESSSSSSING OUUUTTTTT (Warning: Potty Talk--Literally)

Warning 2:  This is a scattered and random post.

I'm not entirely sure why but I am totally stressing out today...
Maybe it's because the scale hasn't budged in a few days...I lost and gained 1lb putting me back where I was last Tuesday morning.

Florida apparently agreed with me!  Because now that I'm home, I'm not losing!!!

Sigh.

So for anyone who doesn't know...I have a problem making oopies at work.  I clamp up.  I can't do it.  Performance anxiety or something engrained in me at a young age that makes me unable to eliminate waste at work...tinkling, no problem...like a champ...I would have never survived pregnancy if I couldn't tinkle at work...

So prior to vacay I was able to hold it all day long...go when I got home...(I know, crazy, right? I actually remember mastering this in Kindergarten.  Yea, this goes back THAT FAR.)

After a week of going when I needed to, my body isn't happy if I try to hold it.  It says "No!  You let me go potty last week at 9:30am and I liked it!"

So I say, "Yea...I also let you sleep from 11-8:30 every day and I bathed you in sunshine and happiness for a week, Body, but this is reality...where we sit inside, stress and don't make poopoos from 7am-5pm Monday-Friday unless we are someplace comfortable."

Hmm, not so much.

I found a private place and a few good friends who know my secret and understand why I have to walk clear across the entire building on a different floor to do my business.  (The friends don't' go with me--they just understand not to ask when I disappear for a very long time or they see me on the complete other side of the building, or I come running past one of them and ask if the bathroom is "all clear".  Yes, these are quality people.

I have to say, it's kind of nice to not have to carry that burden around all day.  Having to go to the bathroom can be very distracting.

Anyway, this is all related...

So I thought that as a reward for making poopoos in the potty at work like a big girl, I would start to see the scale move.  Like, "Hey, look at me!  I'm going potty so I'm not holding it in so I can lose weight!"

Yea, not so much.

And then...ugh...for some reason I am really hungry.  I was doing great!  I had my veggies at lunch time.  I didn't have my salad yet but figured that I had enough veggies and I didn't need it...and at 2:00pm I had my IP snack.

Cool.

Yet for some reason I was SO hungry after my snack...I sat there starring at my IP choices...I have one more left for today...restricted...but it's my night time snack!!!!!

And without even thinking, I ate it half of it.

Stress eating.  I felt hungry....I felt ravenous...and I wanted to eat more.  I'm TIRED.  I have a blood test tomorrow.  I'm nervous. 

So I will have my romaine lettuce and dressing.  Kind blah but...eh...it's better than something off the diet.

I just hate when I feel this way!!!!

On a positive note, I'm wearing black pants today and they've never ever fit.  I'm receiving comments about being skinny and someone said I was too skinny.  HA.

And on another positive note, I have to go to work an hour or so late tomorrow so I can get my blood work done.  That means extra quality time at home with my potty before I leave!! wooohooo!!!